


A Night to Forget

by royal_nonesuch



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comedy of Errors, Friendship, Gen, Hangover, Quests, Road Trips, Side Quests
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 13:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11441442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royal_nonesuch/pseuds/royal_nonesuch
Summary: Noctis and his friends wake up in a Galdin Quay luxury suite with bad hangovers and no memory of the night before. Things get worse before they get better. A multi-chapter humorous friendship fluff fic somewhat inspired by "The Hangover". Guest appearances by Coctura, Dino and more.  It's basically a giant side quest.  As always, reviews/comments are much appreciated.*cross posted from another site*





	1. Chapter 1

Ignis Scientia was not a man accustomed to waking up on the floor, any floor, let alone a strange hotel room floor. And yet, here he was, just waking thanks to an ear piercing cell phone alarm. His head was throbbing in response. He managed to push himself up into a sitting position. Everything felt a little—wobbly. It was also quite chilly too. Prompto must have left the A/C on all night again. When would he learn how to set it properly? He laid his head back against a rather fine couch positioned just next to him. " _Ah",_ he thought, " _this must be where I started out last night_." The trouble was, Ignis could not really remember anything about the night before and that was more than a little terrifying. He could see that the coffee table had quite a few empty shot glasses on it and a mess of playing cards. Perhaps they had just got a bit carried away.

He wanted nothing more than to shut his eyes again, but that infernal alarm had to be addressed. It was his habit to place the phone a distance from everyone so that no one could easily hit the "snooze" button. " _Curse my good planning"_. He forced himself to stand up—the pang of head pain would probably have killed Prompto, he was sure of it. As he strode over to the phone, he nearly tripped over a motionless Prompto, face-down. Ignis could see that he was still breathing so he made his way to the phone and shut it off. While he was up, he decided to flip the light switch.

"Rise and shine," he said with a mock cheerfulness. The profanity and groaning that ensued was something to behold. Gladio got up from an armchair near the card strewn table—angrily cursing the whole time. Noctis, sleeping soundly on one of the beds, made a grunt of acknowledgement. Prompto rolled over onto his back and start to whine about how sick he felt.

"What gives, Specs? Trying to kill us?" Noctis finally added.

"Believe me, it was just as bad for me."

In the brighter light, Ignis could clearly see that this was a Galdin Quay signature suite. Those cost $10,000 gil. He knew that was going to be a stretch and judging by how much top shelf liquor was sitting on the coffee, they probably wouldn't have enough cash.

"I need an antidote…" Prompto groaned.

"Quit your bitchin' Prompto. You just need some hair of the dog." Gladio started to pour a small glass of something Ignis didn't recognize.

"What is that?" He asked. Gladio turned the bottle around to look at its label. It had an unmistakable little cactus emblazoned on the logo.

"Slactaur tequila," Gladio read.

"No wonder I feel like I'm dying," Noctis offered. That beverage was notorious for causing monstrous hangovers. Why had they been drinking that?

"Don't drink anymore of that. It's clearly toxic." Ignis advised.

"Relax. You just aren't used to hangovers." Gladio was putting on a bit of a front. He felt quite awful.

"I assure you I know how to drink. This is no ordinary hangover," he replied as he sank back onto the couch. They weren't used to seeing Ignis look so under the weather. It was a bit unnerving.

"Are you ok?" Prompto asked with a touch of real concern.

"Yes, I'll be fine." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Even the mild lighting of the room made his head throb. In a few moments Noctis was by his side offering a cold glass of water.

"Drink some water and rest up. You're the designated driver after all."

"Wonderful." Ignis accepted the glass and pressed it to his temple. If he didn't improve, long distance driving was out of the question.

"I'm going to go settle up so we can get out of here. They might charge by the hour." Noctis offered.

"Noct, places like this most certainly do not charge by the hour." Ignis said without opening his eyes. Noctis waved him off and headed to the front desk. He felt like he'd been stomped on by a herd of garulas too, but he had a remarkable ability to recover quickly. Perhaps it was his kingly powers. He put on some casual clothes and a baseball cap to conceal his unkempt hair.

It was a short trip to the front desk. Galdin Quay really was beautiful in the early morning, he thought. It would be nice to stay in town for a few more days, but not for 10 grand a night.

"Good morning sir, what can I do for you?" the attendant was far too chipper for this hour. Noctis winced a bit.

"I'd like to check out"

"Did you enjoy your stay?"

"Uh yeah I think so." Noctis could barely remember what happened last night but he had to believe he enjoyed the stay.

"That will be $10,000 gil, sir." Noctis reached for his wallet. It felt disturbingly light. He looked inside. Everything was gone. No cash, no credit—not even any half used gift cards. This was a crisis.

"I know this will sound like BS, but I seem to be fresh out of cash." Suddenly the attendant's cheery front began to fade.

"Is that so."

"Yeah, it must be back in the room or something."

"That's what they all say."

"No really, believe me. I'm good for it." He didn't want to openly say who he was. That seemed like a bad idea given the current political climate.

"Well based on the car you drive, I would think so. How much do you think that is worth?" Noctis really didn't like where this was going.

"A lot, why?"

"I have a proposition for you. I get to keep that sweet car until you find where you misplaced that 10,000."

"You have to be kidding me."

"I'm most certainly not kidding." Noctis felt his pockets for the Regalia keys. Perhaps it was time to bolt.

"Looking for these?" The attendant held up the Regalia keys. "You had me valet it last night. Don't you remember? " Noctis didn't remember anything from the night before, but he couldn't imagine why he'd let this tool drive the Regalia.

"So what do you want?"

"I want that $10,000. I don't care how you get it, but you won't have the Regalia back until you settle up." Noctis felt like taking the keys by force but decided against it.

"Fine, it's a deal, but if there is so much as a scratch on that car…" Noct left the threat hanging in the air and headed back to the hotel room.

His comrades were in slightly better shape now, but only just. Prompto was at least in a sitting position and Gladio had moved on from "the hair of the dog" to some bottled water. Ignis was standing, pacing a little and holding a bag of vending machine ice to the back of his head. He never showed when he was in pain so this must have been an epic headache.

"Noct," Ignis began, "this is quite embarrassing, but I'm afraid I can't, in good conscience, drive today. My deepest apologies," Noct could see he was truly guilt ridden over it. He reached out and patted his friend's arm.

"Don't worry about it. We're not going anywhere today anyway. The Regalia's gone." Shocked gasps and shouted interrogatives greeted this news. Noctis calmly explained that they were broke and the hotel impounded the Regalia.

"So we need to raise $10,000. That's more than a little," Ignis observed.

"Well sorry guys," Promto added, "I'm just too sick to work." Gladio threw an empty water bottle his way for that.

"Maybe we should just sell some of your crap, Prompto," Gladio countered.

"I'm afraid Prompto does not have enough "crap" to even approach $10,000," Ignis realistically observed.

"Well, I guess fishing it is." Noctis declared. More groaning and complaining followed.

"If I find out you orchestrated this whole thing for a fishing trip…" Gladio threatened. Noctis smirked. At least one of them was going to have a bit of fun today.


	2. Gone Fishin'

Despite the fact that they felt fairly miserable, Noctis and his friends looked quite sharp in their casual daytime attire. They managed to get some gear form the Regalia (after an extended fight with the obnoxious attendant) and were headed for some game fishing. As they strode across the lobby, Coctura, the head chef of Galdin Quay's Mother of Pearl restaurant, motioned Ignis over to her. The other 3 were very intrigued. She was a very attractive young woman with her hair in a very business-like updo. She had her chef jacket on which meant she was here to work. Ignis thought she was an excellent chef and loved to talk with her about cuisine, but he couldn't deny there was more to his fascination with her.

"I just wanted to thank you for last night," she said with sincerity, "it was really sweet." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"I…it was my pleasure," he said as decorously as he could. He of course had absolutely no idea what he had done, but decided it would have been utterly tactless to ask her. She asked to see his phone. He clumsily offered her it to her. He prayed that she didn't notice his blushing.

"I'm adding my contact info. Now we can exchange recipes anytime." She handed the phone back to him with a winning smile and returned to her post.

"Ignis," Prompto said with a laugh, "I had no idea you have game like that!"

"Yeah," Noctis added, "you've been holding out."

"I have no idea what you are talking about. She and I…"

"…apparently had a good time last night. You might want to try and remember that," Gladio suggested as he walked past making sure to give Ignis a healthy slap on the back. He just wasn't in the mood for their good natured barbs, but Gladio was right. He needed to remember what happened. Before he had time to think, they were headed to the docks.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and it wasn't oppressively hot. Noctis was actually having a pretty good time, but he wasn't getting the prize fish he was looking for. After the third tiny trevally, the peanut gallery was getting vocal.

"Noct, that lazy ass cat wouldn't even eat that one." Gladio remarked.

"I'm doing the best I can. I need some better lures."

"We could raise more money panhandling the hotel guests." Ignis said with uncharacteristic saltiness. Noctis had had enough.

"Ok, Specs, that's it. No more backseat fishing. Here," Noct said as he transferred his baseball cap to Ignis' head and pulled it down tightly. "That will keep the sun out of your eyes. Now go lay down and take a nap." Ignis thought about protesting, but Noctis preempted it. "That's a royal command."

"As you wish," Ignis replied. The truth was, Ignis didn't feel like arguing. He didn't feel anything except his migraine.. He walked over to a beach chair. A nearby palm offered some adequate shade. He stretched out, took off his glasses and pulled the cap further down over his eyes. He was asleep in moments.

"He's a total wreck," Prompto said glancing back in Iggy's direction.

"Yeah. Poor guy can't hold his liquor," Gladio suggested. Noctis cast out again; this time with an improved lure. In a few moments, he got a bite. After a bit of a fight and some obnoxious comments, Noct reeled in a decent sized sea bass. After he and Gladio cleaned the few fish he managed to catch, Noctis decided it was 'break time'. The trio headed over to where Ignis was sleeping. He was still out cold.

"I'm going to sell this pathetic haul, don't wake sleeping beauty while I'm gone." Gladio commanded and headed off in the direction of the local shop. Prompto sat on the edge of the beach chair while Noct stood and stretched. All that reeling was making his arm sore. Suddenly, there was the unmistakable *ding* of a text notification. Ignis had left his phone lying next to him.

"Dude. He left his phone out."

"So?" Noct said, continuing with his stretches.

"There's a text from that lady chef. Aren't you a bit curious what happened with them?" Noctis was a bit curious. He had no idea what Ignis did during his free time. In fact, Noct wasn't sure he even had any free time. When he wasn't working at court, Ignis was chauffeuring, tutoring, accompanying and just generally taking care of Noctis. The young prince turned to glance at his sleeping friend. _"I need to remember to thank him some time."_

"Maybe, a little," Noctis said non-committally. That actually gave him an idea. "Hey, Prompto, get out your camera. There might be some pics of last night."

"Oh yeah, I can't believe we didn't do that yet," Prompto replied. Noct took a seat next to his friend and started looking at the snapshots. Prompto cycled through his pics from the day before. The first few were standard fare. Some nice shots of the views around hammerhead. Several of Cindy.

"Prompto, this is pathetic," Noct said as he took the camera and scrolled through several more shots of Cindy. Everyone seemed to remember that part of the day. They had been in Hammerhead getting a few upgrades installed on the Regalia. The next few shots were of a relatively uneventful garula fight. Then there was a close up of a cactaur. There were a few shots of Galdin Quay at sunset that were actually quite pretty. The guys vaguely remembered arriving in Galdin Quay, but it was pretty much a blank from there. There was one blurry shot of the dock cat too. After that, things got weird.

The next series of pics showed Noctis, Ignis and Gladio doing shots. Prompto must have been too, because the photos got increasingly worse. One of the last shots on the camera was of Glaido lying face down on the coffee table, as Ignis finished a shot.

"Wow, no wonder Ignis is struggling," Pormpto volunteered.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Gladio demanded as he returned to the group.

"We are trying to piece together what happened last night." Noctis explained.

"Find anything?" Gladio asked.

"Apparently Ignis beat you in a drinking contest." Prompto informed him. Gladio wasn't buying it.

"Let me see," Gladio examined the picture. "This doesn't prove anything."

"I'm pretty sure it does. Ignis was still conscious and you weren't." Gladio grunted in response.

"Well, it was a Pyrrhic victory." Gladio gestured towards the unconscious person next to them. The argument finally woke Ignis. He sat up and rubbed his eyes before putting his glasses back on.

"Feeling better?" Noct asked.

"Actually, yes. Quite a bit." He was surprised how much a little sleep helped his migraine.

"Now that you have experienced the healing powers of a nap maybe you'll let us sleep in more?" Noctis suggested.

"No promises," he said with a smile.

"Hey Ignis, check this out. Looks like you took down Gladio in an epic drinking contest last night." Prompto held his camera out to Ignis.

"Why would we have been doing something so utterly foolish?" Drinking shots of slactaur tequila was not something he'd do in his right mind.

"Who knows, but I probably said you couldn't hold your liquor. Then you probably insisted that you could and then I probably told you to prove it." Gladio's theory sounded believable enough.

"And this foolish game was the proof…"

"150 proof," Noctis quipped. Suddenly Prompto interrupted them.

"Hey guys, there's a pic of Dino on here." They all had a look.

"What would that creep be doing in the hotel room?" Gladio added.

"I suppose we should be paying him a visit." Ignis suggested.

"It's going to have to wait. It's time to hunt some sparkshears." Gladio had not informed them he'd be picking up a hunt.

"A hunt?" Prompto shrieked.

"Yeah, toughen up you wuss. I sold all those fish and got about $500. That's chump change. I just got us a $3,000 bounty from Coctura. Few more of those and we get the car back."

"I can't argue with math," Noctis said, "but fishing is a hell of a lot less dangerous."

"Enough chit chat guys. Time to hunt!" Gladio commanded. Noctis and Prompto got up to follow him down the beach. Ignis was a bit slow to follow.

"Come on, Specs. Don't you want to impress your girlfriend?" Noctis teased. That got his attention.

"I beg your pardon, my what?" Ignis said a little anxiously as a he scrambled to catch up.


	3. The Bountry

It was a long, ugly fight, but in the end, they were victorious. Prompto spent most of the fight unconscious. Noctis decided to use a greatsword to break the sparkshears' giant claws, but what he gained in strength he lost in quickness. He got knocked flat more than a few times. Gladio ended up landing the most hits and he made sure to let everyone know. Ignis took on a support role and tried to keep everyone healed up. Needless to say, they went through quite a few potions. When the fight was finally over, the weary, messy troupe made their way to a nearby campsite. The sun was already going down and they were done for the day.

Gladio, Prompto and Noctis started to set up camp as Ignis prepared one of the remaining sea bass fillets. Despite the awful start to the day, the evening was shaping up nicely. After enjoying the gourmet quality seafood the group sat around the fire and had some coffee.

"We're going to have to stock up on potions after that," Prompto wisely observed.

"Indeed. If my math is correct we'll need to spend at least $1000," Ignis added.

"We need to pick up the bounty before we start spending it," Gladio stated the obvious.

"Already deficit spending," Noctis sarcastically noted.

"Hey, Iggy," Gladio began, "why don't you go pick up the bounty?" Ignis didn't much feel like doing that.

"Why don't we all go?" He sensibly queried.

"We're too tired, "Promtpo suggested, "plus it will give you some alone time with your girlfriend." He was referring to Coctura, of course. Ignis was ashamed that he couldn't remember what happened between himself and the executive chef, but his friends kept making light of it. He was starting to get a little aggravated. Noctis could sense his friend's frustration.

"I thought you could use a break from us," Noctis suggested. That much Ignis could agree to.

"Very well. I'll collect the bounty," _And the humiliation_ , he thought. Ignis stood up and dusted himself off a bit—he was a mess from the sparkshear fight. He couldn't spend much time preening himself. He knew his supportive friends would provide a running commentary and he just wasn't in the mood. Before Ignis set off, Noctis hopped up from his seat and grabbed the baseball cap from his friend's head.

"You look less like you haven't bathed in a day without the hat, "Noctis smirked. Ignis had genuinely forgotten about the hat. He ran his fingers through his hair a few times to straighten up the mess.

"See you soon," Ignis said to the group.

"Not with any luck you won't," Gladio said with a knowing smirk.

"I believe in you , buddy" Pormpto added.

"You are all a bunch of children," he said; voice full of exasperation.

* * *

 

Ignis gingerly approached the "Mother of Pearl" with the completed bounty. Coctura was clearing down for the night. It must have been one of her short shifts. Not that he'd kept track of her shifts or anything. He hesitated a moment.

"Good evening."

"Ignis—it's good to see you." She smiled warmly.

"The pleasure is all mine. I've got a bounty to turn in." Coctura received the completed bounty from him and handed over the gil.

"That was a tough hunt. Nicely done." Ignis asked her to give him the next most lucrative hunt from her list. "You boys are really in need of some money aren't you?"

"Unfortunately, yes, we are under some financial strain."

"Those hotel rooms can be insanely expensive." She pulled out the next biggest bounty and handed it over. Ignis thanked her. He wanted to rush back to the haven and avoid any further conversation that could only get awkward, but she had other ideas.

"Do you have a minute?" She said, a little hesitantly. He nodded. She paused for a moment. "About last night…how should I say this… I just can't stop thinking about that kiss." _Kiss!?_ He was speechless. She noticed his confused, vaguely anxious expression. "You don't remember this do you?" He started blushing.

"I am very ashamed to admit that I cannot remember anything about last night. I had a little too much slactaur tequila." He had never been so humiliated in his life. She laughed it off, but her expression revealed that she was upset, or was that disappointment? He couldn't tell. Probably both.

"Slactaur tequila? You must have a death wish—that stuff is toxic."

"We had no idea of its potency. " It sounded like an excuse, and a pathetic one at that. They both fell silent for a moment.

"You know, it's really a shame—that was one of the best kisses I've ever had and you were just faking it"

"Faking it?" Ignis was very confused and flattered. _One of the best?_

"I guess I should explain. Dino was being a pest, begging me for a date and getting into my personal space. You wanted to help so I asked if you'd pose as my boyfriend to get rid of him. He wasn't buying it, I asked you to kiss me and you did."

"I'd very much like to remember that," Ignis said—it was smooth. Prompto would be proud.

"Don't worry about it—I shouldn't have mentioned it. I feel like such an idiot." She took off her apron and hung it over the counter.

"I've offended you—forgive me." Ignis offered, but she was through with the conversation.

"You know I really thought you might be different…" here voice trailed. "My shift is over. Have a good night." With that she swiftly made her way out of the entrance. She was visibly upset. The few remaining patrons in the _Mother of Pearl_ looked at Ignis with accusing eyes. He was mortified, but their judgmental stares riled him. One older woman in particular was glaring.

"It's not polite to stare," he informed her as he began to leave the restaurant. His progress was stopped when he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. It was Dino.

"Well if it isn't the homewrecker himself."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Trying to steal another guy's girl puts you firmly in homewrecker territory." Dino tightened his grip on Ignis' shoulder a little. Ignis freed himself from the other man's grip.

"Perhaps you should consider the very real possibility that she has no interest in you." It was brutal, but true.

"She had plenty of interest before you came in here with your posh accent and swept her off her feet." The argument was rising to the level of a "scene". Ignis hated to make "scenes".

"You are delusional. Now if you'll excuse me," Ignis made another attempt to leave.

"Delusional, eh? Are these pictures delusional?" Dino showed Ignis a series of pictures on his digital camera. Each picture was worse than the last. In one shot, Noct was wearing a Moogle carnival hat, an entire bottle of champagne in his hand. His 3 companions didn't fare better. "You know the tabs would love to run a story about the playboy prince and his boyband."

"How did you get these?" Ignis asked, but he recalled Prompto's picture showing Dino in their hotel room.

"Now I know you boys don't want to be splashed across the headlines—I get it, I really do, but a guy's got to make a living."

"You want money."

"That and a little payback."

"How much do you want?" Ignis couldn't believe this was happening. The Galdin Quay trip was getting very expensive.

"How does $5,000 grab you?"

"It sounds like highway robbery."

"I expect it to be paid in full by tomorrow evening. If I don't get the dough, expect to see the pretty boy prince on the front page of every tabloid in Lucis," with that, Dino sauntered out- very full of himself. This was a disaster indeed. Ignis grabbed his phone and dialed.

"Noct, we've got a bit of a problem." Ignis explained the situation to his prince as he made his way quickly out towards the beach.

The judgmental older woman watched as the young man bolted towards the beach. She turned to her husband and whispered, "these riff-raff bounty hunters are really ruining this resort"

"Galdin Quay just isn't what it used to be."


	4. The Three Zs

The guys were in a somber mood the next morning. In addition to coming up with $10,000 gil for their Quayside Cradle stay, they had to scrape together $5,000 in hush money for Dino by the end of the day. Doing increasingly difficult hunts seemed to be the only sensible solution, but even that was quite expensive. Hi-potions weren't exactly cheap. They quickly packed up their camping gear and headed for the dock.

"I think we should get out of town before anyone else tries to blackmail us," Noctis suggested

"A very sensible thought, Noct, but we do have one more hunt to complete." Before Coctura had angrily left the Mother of Pearl the night before, she had given Ignis one of her most lucrative hunts. There was a $3,000+ gil reward for its completion.

"Yeah, but it's a night hunt," Gladio observed. "Those goblins won't show up until nearly 9. You know Dino will come looking for his money before that." It was settled, then. They had to move on.

"Guess this means we're going on a chocobo ride," Prompto said excitedly. Thankfully it only cost $100 per day for a rental. The party walked up the beach at a leisurely pace-enjoying the comfortable early morning temperature.

"So, Ignis, you never really explained why Dino thought you were trying to steal his girl" Ignis' original story ws light on the details-and Prompto wasn't satisfied.

"Coctura is most certainly not "his girl". Dino is a very confused and vindictive man." This of course added no interesting details.

Prompto decided to leave it there-for now. He had more important matters to attend to: giant birds. Noct paid for a two day rental. He learned the hard way that you should always get at least two days worth.

"We're heading to Longwythe. There's bound to be some daytime hunts there." Noctis informed them.

"And a Crow's Nest." Prompto made sure to note.

"Only if you're payin'," Gladio added as he climbed aboard the giant bird.

* * *

_Longwythe_

Noctis immediately picked up the most lucrative hunt they had access to-it was a bounty for Shieldshears. It wouldn't be easy but probably manageable. Before heading out, they decided to browse the menu. It wasn't exciting: Jetty drink, fries and 'Kenny's Salmon' which was far too expensive. Prompto insisted on some fries.

"It's only $150 gil, guys. If we don't eat I might collapse." Prompto argued. They weren't in Crow's Nests everyday either.

"A battle where Prompto collapses? That never happens," Noctis added sarcastically.

"Prompto is right, we ought to eat something," Ignis advised, "unfortunately it looks like that will have to be one of Kenny's offerings." Noct finally caved and purchased the fries.

"No more micro-purchases guys-we have no room for error right now," Noctis showing concern about expenditures was perhaps the scariest aspect of their recent financial misadventures.

Thankfully, it was a short ride to the hunt location. As they approached the frankly scary looking trio of Shieldshears, Ignis was advocating a careful plan of attack. It all came to nought, however, when Noct warped in with a greatsword targeting the middle creature. Noctis practically bounced off of the hulking lobster. His friends scrambled to catch up. Ignis and Gladio tried to get between Noctis and the angry enemy while Pormpto started firing round after round. Noctis climbed back to his feet and tried to circle around the center Shieldshear but it kept turning around too quickly. Frustrated, Noctis took an angry swing with his Engine Blade. The Shieldshear deflected it and crushed Noctis with its hulking claw.

"Watch yourself, Noct!" Ignis shouted.

Noctis was disoriented and starting to feel a little panicked. He needed to step out of the fray for a moment and get a breather-but the Shieldshear had different ideas. It took another powerful swing completely flattening the struggling prince. It raised its claw for another strike, but Ignis managed to get in between the two combatants. The crushing blow landed across his back and was every bit as painful as you'd expect. but Ignis withstood it-just barely. He was able to drag Noctis to a safer distance while Gladio and Prompto kept the Shieldshears busy.

Noctis wasn't moving. Ignis gently tried to wake him, but it was obvious now that Noctis needed a phoenix down. He used their last one to revive the prince.

"Noct," Ignis managed to hide the dizzying pain from his voice, "that was our last phoenix down." Ignis looked back at the trio of mostly undamaged Shieldshears. "We are overmatched. We need to retreat."

'

"Never say never, Ignis." With that Noctis warped in targeting the same Shieldspear that had cost them their last phoenix down. It barely made a dent. "Ok, maybe now it's time to surrender."

"As much as I hate to say it, Gladio said as he blocked a series of attacks. "We need to bail out."

The party quickly moved outside of the battle territory-the Shieldshears would not follow. Once they were convinced they were safe, They slowed their pace. It was now quite obvious that Ignis was in pain.

"Specs, you look pretty rough. Take an elixir."

"That won't be necessary. I just need a night's sleep." Ignis was keenly aware of how much elixirs cost and he was more interested in replenishing the phoenix down supply.

"I hate to be a downer, but what's Dino going to do when we don't have his money?" Prompto wisely asked.

"We can try to reason with him," Ignis suggested.

"Or I can just crack his neck," Gladio offered.

"Harsh, but fair." Noctis said lightly as they stepped inside the Crow's Nest. They planned to cancel the hunt.

"Well if it isn't my favorite boyband. Long time no see." It was unmistakably everyone's favorite Dino.

"How do you keep finding us?" Prompto asked.

"World travels fast in Lucis," Dino replied. "So," he began as he hopped off his bar stool, "did you collect my money?" It was already early evening and Dino doubted very much that they planned to pay him on time.

"We don't quite have everything yet. We were hoping you might give us more time." Ignis explained.

"A deal's a deal." Dino pronounced. "However, I'd be willing to let you off the hook on one occasion."

"And what's that?" Noct asked.

"There's some rare stones I want."

"Of course this guy would be looking for some stones," Gladio quipped.

"One more crack like that and the deal's off."

"OK, we're listening."

"Like I said, I'm looking for some rare stones you can only find...in Costlemark tower."

"You've got to be kidding me," Prompto said. He did not enjoy their first trip there.

"If you can bring me the gems, I'll waive the $5,000 gil fee and I'll delete all these embarrassing pics."

"OK, you've got yourself a deal." Noctis replied.

"But if this is some kind of trap I will kill you myself." Gladio warned..

You've got spunk, muscle-head, I like it." Dino headed for the door of the diner. "I'm not a monster so I'll give you 36 hours to get the job done. Don't forget, Costlemark only opens at night." He made sure to angrily stare at Ignis before walking out into the warm evening.

"That guy is both silly and creepy at the same time," Prompto observed.

With money a slightly smaller concern, Noctis decided to rent a room at the "Three Zs Motel". They all needed a decent night sleep if they were going to take on Costlemark.

* * *

 

It was an ugly, small room. The carpet was beyond filthy-years of caked on dirt stains had layered into a truly vile shade. The bathroom was only slightly better than an outhouse and the towels smelled mildewed. Nevertheless, it was a place to stay. Noctis immediately stretched out on one of the twin beds.

"Noct, you really should remove the bedspread first. They never wash them." Ignis warned.

"That is disgusting," Prompto observed. Noctis refused to move.

"I'm covered in mud and giant lobster bits. I don't think the bedspread is the grossest thing here." He had a point.

"You know we'd probably be better off sleeping on that bench next to the Kenny statue with a few newspapers to cover us," Gladio wasn't much for hotels on a good day.

"You don't think this place has bedbugs do you?" Prompto asked worriedly.

"It undoubtedly contains an innumerable quantity," Ignis suggested.

"Yeah, they're probably crawling all over you now." Gladio helpfully added. Prompto shrieked and hopped off the edge of the bed. Torturing Prompto was a fun past time. Ignis sat down in a relatively bed bug free chair. He was exhausted and spent from the failed Shieldshear fight. His shoulder and back were still on fire with pain. He needed a night's sleep to recover.

"I'm starving," Noctis announced without getting up.

"Yeah, that fight took it out of me." Prompto confirmed. They all looked toward Ignis, but he'd already dozed off. Prompto walked over and waved his hand in front of Ignis a few times. "Hey Iggy, wake up-what's for dinner?"

"I almost forgot," he replied groggily and started to get up. Gladio pushed him back down with one hand. Ignis had turned down the elixir before so Gladio knew just how uncomfortable his friend was.

"Cooking Mama is tired, Prompto. I found a microwave next to that moldy coffee pot. Cup noodles it is."

"Fine by me," Noctis said, again without even looking up. Ignis nodded toward Gladio, thanking him for taking over dinner duties for the night. He took off his glasses, leaned back in the chair and started to drift off again. Noctis noticed.

"You may remain awake long enough to eat," Noctis said imitating Ignis' accent in an exaggerated way. Ignis did not open his eyes, but he smiled a little.

"I'm not asleep, I'm just-"

"...closing your eyes and losing consciousness?" Noctis helpfully added.

"Something like that," Ignis agreed and slipped into a peaceful sleep.


	5. Long Ride to Costlemark

They all overslept. It was almost 9 am when they were finally awake enough to get ready for the day. Normally, it was a luxury to have an actual hot shower, but the filthy state of the _Three Z's_ bathroom made it seem more like a penance. Nevertheless, they each wanted to have a shower, so they played a round of _King's Knight_ to determine who would get to go first. Prompto came in last. By the time the blonde sharpshooter got his turn, the water was colder than the Wennath river at dawn.

"Well, the good news is I have hypothermia now," Prompto said as he dried his hair.

"Look at the bright side, at least you're really awake now," Gladio helpfully added.

"What's for breakfast?" Noctis asked-always one to get to the most important problems facing them. Gladio walked over to Noctis and shoved a tiny Styrofoam cup in his hand. Noctis took a sip-it was some of the worst coffee he had ever tasted.

"Did you brew this in the toilet, big guy?"

"Very funny, prince charmless," Gladio replied.

"I'd really love some pancakes," Prompto interjected,"a big stack of em' with butter and syrup melting down the sides."

"I must confess, that does sound appetizing," Ignis chimed in. He was suffering through Gladio's coffee without complaint, but he was hoping for some decent food.

"We don't have time for that," Gladio said, "we should have been up three hours ago." He reached into a brown paper bag sitting on the coffee table.

"The guy at the desk gave me free muffins, enjoy," he said as he tossed one at Prompto like a fastball. It was a blueberry muffin...at some point. Prompto was hungry enough to take a bite.

"This tastes like sawdust," Prompto said, mouth still full of stale muffin.

"...with artificial blueberries," Noctis added.

"Perhaps we should just go to the Crow's Nest," Ignis advised. Gladio was a bit surprised that Ignis was siding with the two whiners this time.

"In case you forgot, we are broke. Learn to love free food, fellas," Gladio said as he forced in one of the muffins. It was actually worse than sawdust.

"I saw a vending machine," Noctis said as he got up from the twin bed, "we're not too broke for that." Prompto followed along leaving Ignis and Gladio behind in the small room. Ignis stood up from the armchair and started to follow them.

"You too?" Gladio asked. Ignis shrugged his shoulders and walked out the door.

* * *

The chocobo ride from Longwythe to Duscae was grueling. By the time they hit the Coernix station near the Alstor slough, it was late afternoon. They rode up to the small shop and dismounted. Noctis was ready to call it quits for the day.

"Let's just chill out at the caravan," he said as he stretched, "I'm done."

"We're not even close to done. Get yourself a bag of chips and quit whining," Gladio commanded. Sometimes Noctis didn't know what the benefit of being a prince was. Ignis re-emerged from the shop; he was looking at a map he had taken from the travel brochure stand just inside. He knew the area vaguely, but it had been a while since he had driven through.

"I suggest we stop at the Wiz Chocobo Post," Ignis said, "it is not far from Costlemark Tower and will give us a place to rest up before we invade the dungeon."

"You're not seriously thinking of tackling that dungeon tonight, are you?" Prompto asked. The last time they had gone inside they were beaten back pretty easily. Prompto wanted to play with chocobos and eat fries-not get smacked around by flans and bussemands.

"The place is only open at night, Prompto, and I'm not hanging out at the Chocobo Post for another 24 hours," Gladio reasoned.

"I suppose it is up to Noct," Ignis allowed, but his own opinion was clear. Noctis didn't feel much like taking on a dangerous dungeon while suffering saddle sore, but he decided he'd rather just get it over with.

"If it gets us the car back sooner, I'm all for it," he said.

"I better get a giant sandwich out of this," Prompto warned.

* * *

The Wiz Chocobo Post was actually quite pretty bathed in the pink light of dusk. Noctis and his friends were taking a much deserved break and enjoying Fat Chocobo Triple-Deckers prepared by Wiz himself. It would be a couple of more hours before Costlemark's gate would appear, so the party decided to relax under the caravan porch.

Noctis settled in for a short nap while the others decided to break out their smartphones. Prompto and Gladio decided it would be amusing to open a dating app and see who showed up. Ignis just sighed and opted to research Costlemark a little more.

"This person has a pink chocobo as their picture," Gladio observed, "not the best way to get dates."

"It's the best way to get one with Prompto," Noctis said.

"Come on guys, I just like chocobos, I wouldn't date one," he said.

"I'm glad we have cleared that up," Ignis added.

"You fellas mind if an old timer joins ya?" Wiz said as he walked towards Prompto's table.

"We'd very much enjoy your company," Ignis politely replied on behalf of the group. Wiz smiled and slumped down in one of the plastic chairs.

"So what brings you boys out here again?" Wiz asked.

"We're going to give Costlemark another try," Gladio explained.

"If you're going to do something that crazy, you might need a little liquid courage," Wiz suggested.

"Liquid courage?" Noct asked, finally waking up a little. Wiz pulled a hefty flask from inside his vest and grabbed a few of the red plastic cups sitting on the table.

"Whiskey?" Gladio inquired. Ignis was becoming uncomfortable. They got into their current predicament _because_ of imprudent alcohol consumption.

"It's a little stronger than that. Anyone want to try?" Wiz asked as he started to pour a cup.

"You know it," Gladio responded and accepted the cup.

"I'll try it," Prompto said.

"Here, this'll put some hair on your chest," Wiz said as he handed it off.

"I'll pass—I've got plenty of hair on my chest," Noctis said as he leaned his head back again. Gladio scoffed at the comment.

"What about you?" Wiz said, looking pointedly at Ignis.

"None for me thank you," Ignis replied courteously.

"Teetotaller, eh?" Wiz said a little provokingly.

"Nah, he doesn't believe in social drinking. If he can't get blackout drunk, he doesn't see the point in having anything, isn't that right, Iggy?" Gladio said. Ignis just sighed in response. Gladio took a healthy swig of the drink and nearly choked-it was incredibly strong. Prompto took a very tentative sip and still coughed.

"What the hell is this? Paint thinner?" Prompto exclaimed. Wiz laughed, a little menacingly.

"Haven't you city slickers ever had moonshine before?" Wiz said. Ignis had to resist the urge to try it. He wanted to know if it had a unique flavor. _Perhaps it would inspire a new recipe._ He overcame the temptation when he saw the pained expression on Gladio's face. If Gladio couldn't stand it, no one could.

"How about one more round?" Wiz said. Ignis was about to tell him "we must be going now" but Gladio spoke first.

"Sure," Gladio replied and placed his cup in front of Wiz, "give me two shots this time."

"Well if he is, so will I," Prompto responded. He didn't want to look like a lightweight. Wiz happily refilled their cups and poured himself another shot. The three moonshine drinkers put their plastic cups together in a parody of a toast. They all started laughing.

Ignis didn't like their chances in Costlemark….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this fic a while back, but I have only just recently updated. I've got a few irons in the fire atm, but I enjoy writing side quests for the bros so I hope to update soon!


End file.
